Word for making your life circumstances seem much worse than it is
The act of reflecting on one's perceived woes is also known as self-commiserating.
And then he sighed a querulous, self-commiserating sigh, as if in pure regret that he, the loved and courted of so many worshippers, should be now abandoned to the mercy of a harsh, exacting, cold-hearted woman like that, and even glad of what kindness she chose to bestow, (Chapter 48, The Tenant of Wildfell Hall, Anne Bronte)
The term you are looking for is self-pity:
- a feeling of pity for yourself because you believe you have suffered more than is fair or reasonable.
(M-W)
- ....John is self-pitying.
Consider: catastrophizing.
"Sally responds saying John is catastrophizing."
This is a term, used often in the psychological field, for making a catastrophe out of an otherwise minor event.
See:
- What is Catastrophizing (https://psychcentral.com/lib/what-is-catastrophizing/)
- Wiktionary Catastrophize (https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/catastrophize)
- How to Stop Catastrophizing (http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2014/04/02/catastrophizing/)
you could say he is
playing the victim
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victim_playing
other phrases include the "poor me routine". a more clinical analysis of the situation might suggest that this is an attempt at "emotional blackmail" as part of a "passive-aggressive" relationship strategy.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_blackmail
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Passive-aggressive_behavior
I would call them a drama queen.
A person who often has exaggerated or overly emotional reactions to events or situations.