What should one call his or her mother-in-law? [closed]

Solution 1:

There is no consensus on this in the UK, and I'm sure there is even less if you take the whole of the English-speaking world into account. It varies from family to family.

Choose from:

• Mrs Surname, e.g. "Mrs Jones"
• Her given name, e.g. "Susan"
• "Mum" or one of the many other words for mother - not common in my experience

One special case: I've noticed that when a couple has a child, they will often refer to the father-in-law and mother-in-law according to their children's perspective. "Grandma" or "Nanna" etc. -- even when the child isn't present.

I think this is both because of habit, and because it makes differentiating between the two mother-in-laws easier. Commonly, the grandparents on each side of the family have different pet-names.

In addition, it's surprisingly easy to get along without using any name, most of the time.

Solution 2:

It works if the relationship is good.

You can also use the first name of the mother too if the relationship is good. This seems to me to be the preferred way when you're in an adult context. I could imagine though, that it sounds totally unthinkable to you in a Chinese context.

In a high school context, when you are introduced to your boyfriend's/girlfriend's parents, you usually use the Mr./Mrs. form to address them until they tell you to call them by their first name. They'll only do that if they like you.

Solution 3:

There is no explicit 'call-name' for mother/father-in-law in English. It is mostly a personal choice, either 'Mrs./Mr. X', the first name, the same call-name the spouse calls them, etc.

Related to this awkward ambivalence in naming (not really a parent/conflicts of control/relation/propriety/economics), one has a tendency not try to avoid using a call-name, or even talking to them at all if one can help it. But that really is a matter of culture, not language, at that point.