(Mixing 1st/3rd Person in same sentence) Is anyone knowledgeable in this grammar?

TLDR: The prompt below contains autobiographical examples that I believe to be incorporating both first and third person in the same sentences; I am unsure of how to proceed.

I am to adhere to the following format for an autobiographical exposé:

Guillermo

Short, Tanned skin, and funny

Lover of video games, beanies, and family

Who feels as if life is a tough puzzle to crack

Who needs to support family before self because those are my priorities

Who gives my love to my family and education

Who fears becoming jobless or homeless

Who would like to see my family and myself own a house someday

Who majors in Construction Technology

Who would like to graduate with an Associates Degree

Castaneda

Thus far I've written:

Blake

Pensive, Impartial, and Curious

Admirer of expression, mindfulness, and delight

Who feels as if life's meaning is but to loiter

Who needs to find ample means concurrent with his favor

My question, is shall I amend "his favor" to "my favor" and continue as such until I am through as was written in the prompt? Or should I write this piece about myself in the third person?

Thank you so very much for your help!


Solution 1:

I would recommend NOT going by the example given and simply using 3rd person for every phrase that begins with "who". Whenever you hear someone describe themselves to someone else, they will use 1st person until they start referring to themselves by a non-1st-person pronoun, such as "who", after which they use the 3rd person until the end of the phrase.

Example:

I am a man who worries a lot for his family.

I, who majors in Construction Technology and loves his family, need to support family before self because those are my priorities.

However, it would also depend on the circumstance of the prompt. Is the example above yours the given example from the instructor of your class, or is it an example given from an outside source? If the instructor of your class gave you that example, then I'd say do your best to mix the pronouns in the same places the teacher does, and later question them about it, because that just sounds weird, at least to me.