Make it so Outlook does not select the first mail in the inbox

Even though this is an old thread, I just found it because I had a very similar request as the original poster. My solution is (as hinted by another answer) to collapse the group headers by default. When the headers are collapsed, Outlook opens with nothing selected or active in the preview pane. It's not perfect, especially if you don't want to use Groups, but it works for me.

To enable, go to View -> View Settings -> Group By -> and select "All Collapsed" under Expand/collapse defaults.

The best workaround I have found for Outlook 2013 is to configure the Reading Pane like this:

• Check On - Mark item as read when viewed in the Reading Pane (wait 5 seconds)
• Check Off Mark item as read when selection changes

This gives you 5 seconds to select a different e-mail before the first e-mail is marked as read.

Outlook for Web Access actually has a setting to not select the first e-mail when opening a mailbox, but this feature is not available to Outlook desktop client: