How can I turn off Siri's joke responses?

I'm using Siri to set short timers, many times in a row: "Set timer for 45 seconds." This is on an iPhone 7 Plus running iOS 10.3.2 (14F89).

It works great, but each time Siri confirms the timer she adds a humorous quip from a short list:

• "Just remember, a watched iPhone never boils."
• "The suspense is killing me."
• "I see you shiver with antici... pation."
• "Roger that. T-minus 45 seconds."

I assume these comments are intended to make Siri seem more human but obviously they have the opposite effect, especially as they are repeated ad nauseam. They're annoying and unprofessional.

I don't want to silence Siri completely; I want verbal confirmation that the timer was set. Ideally "timer set for 45 seconds", or even just "timer set".

Is there any way to turn off Siri's funny comments? I want this primarily for the timer, but I'd be fine with turning chatty mode off globally too.

Things I've tried that don't work:

• Changing language from English (US) to English (UK, Australia, etc.) Different accent, same jokes.
• Saying "Cut the jokes" after a joke. Siri says sorry, but jokes don't stop.

You can't.

Due to the design of Siri, you cannot change the way she behaves. This behavior is all run off of apple servers and is the same for every person.

Siri is able to learn behaviors but that is limited to repeated behaviors like opening an app and the way you speak.

So no, because of the way that Siri was written, you cannot disable her "jokes". Sorry about that.

EDIT:
Source: myself after listening and reading up on Apple's privacy info, and the Internet's many forum posts complaining about this topic.

Also, from more reading, I found out that people have varying amounts of times that this happens to them. Generally, people who don't mind it (like me) don't really notice it. People who are bothered by it appear to notice it more often, so it becomes more of a problem.

You can provide feedback about this to apple via apple.com/feedback