Is the word "queer" an accepted and polite word for lesbian?

I was reading an article on the promulgation of the dental dam as a means of preventing sexually transmitted disease. Article here. The author of the article Arielle Duhaime-Ross consistently refers to lesbian women as "queer women".

Up until now, it had been my understanding that this term was a pejorative and insulting to homosexuals. That it implies their choice of lifestyle to be strange and aberrant. So, I was rather surprised to see this term being bandied about in a reasonably respectable online tech and lifestyle reporting website.

Shows like "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" notwithstanding, it just didn't strike me as proper in the format.

Ms. Duhaime-Ross does not have a biography that I could find on her website. I couldn't discern if she, herself, is a lesbian and is using a preferred nomenclature. Or, if it is a term only used amongst "members of the club" similar to African American usage of the n-word.

I decided to post it here, hoping to better understand the protocol about the term. My motivation is to be able to address people as they wish to be addressed.

Important to note here is that "queer women" in this context does not mean "lesbian". It is explicitly defined as "women that have sex with women". This includes bisexual and trans* women who may not themselves identify as "lesbian". "Queer", in this usage, is meant to be a more inclusive term than "lesbian".

In the LGBTQ/QUILTBAG community (of which I am a member), "queer" is generally used as an umbrella term to encompass the broad scope of sexuality, gender identity, and gender presentation that falls outside the heterosexual/cisgender "mainstream". That seems to be the purpose of its use in the article.

The word has been "reclaimed" by some LGBTQ folks as their own word to describe their identities. The distinction between the pejorative use and the "reclaimed" use is largely a matter of the tone of the text in which the word is used. When in doubt, don't use it.