How do I beat Insane AI in 5 minutes?

Solution 1:

I've beat Terran with Protoss using photon rush.

1. Build probes constantly, 1st build probe will go to opponent, all others - go to minerals; 10-12 actually should be enough.
2. Build the 1st pylon outside of the opponent's start location - if you build it in the opponent base (after the choke) he will attack the pylon with large amount of SCVs. The Pylon should be built as close to the opponent base as possible.
3. Build 1 forge.
4. Build 2 cannons close to the opponent base - they will shoot up the ramp soon.
5. When these cannons are almost complete, send a probe to the opponent's base and build 1 cannon (you 1st pylon should give enough space for 1-2 cannons).
6. Opponent will try to attack your building cannon, but your first 2 cannons should be able to protect them. Keep you probe from being killed by SCVs/marines.
7. Build new pylon close to new cannon, once the new pylon is done, build 1-2 additional cannons not to far away from the 3rd cannon; it should be able to protect the new building. The new cannons should also be able to attack the command center.

After the last cannons been build they will start shooting the command center. The AI will give up quickly.

I did the above and finished sometime around 4:30.

Solution 2:

I was able to beat TvT on very hard in under 5 minutes using a Planetary Fortress Rush. Haven't done insane yet, but it might work there also. You need to do this on the Scrap Station map, it is the only one with starting points close enough together.

Solution 3:

I've beaten the insane AI in less than 5 minutes a bunch of times as Z v Z. Build a spawning pool at 7-8 drones, rush two drones to the enemy base. Build a spine crawler on the far side of the computer's minerals. You need to place it in a crack between the minerals where only 1 enemy drone will attack it from that side, the other drones will just crowd around it. Once the first one is building and safe you can place the second one next to it or in a similar position relative to the minerals.

As soon as the first spine crawler finishes the workers usually run away, then the queen appears, your two spine crawlers will be able to kill her and then they will attack the hatchery. The computer might come back with its drones (and they all die) but it usually just gives up then.

You might also build 6 zerglings while your spine crawlers are building, to help solidify the victory.