Is there a clean version of "no sh*t, Sherlock"?

The phrase "no shit, Sherlock" or just "no shit" is a reply used when someone else points out something obvious.

I was thinking about it the other day and I realized I don't know if there is a clean version, i.e. something you could say in polite conversation or in front of children. I guess saying "no way" or "no, really?" sarcastically works, but is there a better phrase?

I think the clean version would be:

No kidding!

or possibly

No, duh!

If you added ", Sherlock" to either of these, you would cause listeners who know the sweary version to think of it and laugh, without either saying the word or introducing it to listeners who didn't know it.

• "Figure that one out all by yourself?"
• "Thank you, Captain Obvious."
• "And in other news, XXX has discovered water is wet!"

I could probably list a lot more. Anything you can say that either points out the obviousness of the statement or sarcastically expresses appreciation for the speaker's "insight" would work.