Where to download, or find a list of all the Windows updates?
Samual got me on the right track. I found Windows Update Downloader http://www.windowsupdatesdownloader.com/
this allows you to download all the updates. and to integrate them into the windows 7 installation cd i used this guide http://4sysops.com/archives/use-dism-to-slipstream-updates/ which shows how to integrate updates into the cd.
i hope this helps others with the same question.