How to express desires in English so that they don't sound like commands?

Here are some softening tricks:

• Won't is a contraction for will not, which may sound authoritative. Wouldn't can be softer than won't.

• In the subject of the sentence, use inclusive plural (we, us) rather than the second person (you), which can sound more like an accusation.

• Avoid embedding pronouns in a statement that make it sound more confrontational (like a you and a me).

After applying these three guidelines:

I won't want you to land up in the thread again to tell me the rules.

becomes:

I wouldn't want us to land up in the thread again, discussing the rules.

Of course, all of these tricks are contextual; they work well when in the midst of a disagreement. I'm not saying to always avoid pronouns like you and me – yet I believe you're sharp enough to figure that out.

There are many, many possible ways to express a desire politely in English. Some examples follow.

• I'd really appreciate it if you could ...
• Would you be so kind as to ... ?
• It would be nice if you could ...
• Is there any chance you could ... ?
• If you could ..., it would be really good.

Don't be concerned that some of these sound like questions. They're really not questions at all.

“It is my ardent desire that you wouldn’t land up again in the thread to tell me the rules, but you are at liberty to choose your own method.”