Should we include the prefix Mrs. when we tell others our real name? [closed]

My question is so simple. We call a man with the prefix Mr. and a married woman with the prefix Mrs., followed by her husband's surname, right? Now, is it grammatically okay to include these prefixes in the name when someone asks what a man's or a married woman's name is? For instance: A woman's real name is Lacey. She is married to someone by the name of Robert James, so she's called Mrs. James. When someone asks her what her name is, what should she answer? It is James/ Mrs. James/ Lacey/ Lacey James?

You are labouring under a misapprehension that a woman's married surname is not her 'real' surname.

In most Western cultures a married woman's real surname is usually her husband's surname. Her original surname (usually her father's but not always) then becomes her maiden name. Once Alice Lacey marries Robert James she becomes (unless she chooses to keep her maiden name) Alice James and is normally referred to as "Mrs James" (or possibly "Ms James" if she prefers).

Once she's married and has adopted her husband's surname her real surname becomes that of her husband and her maiden name is used only for historical purposes. For instance the tax authorities, the passport office or a bank processing a loan application might need to know her maiden name in order to ensure that they are searching the records for the correct woman.

A woman (or indeed a man as well) is legally entitled to use any surname she wishes and, if she does not want to adopt her husband's surname, she can continue use her maiden name and that then remains her 'real' name. She then has the choice of remaining "Miss Lacey", becoming "Mrs Lacey" or being known as "Ms Lacey".

On some occasions people will choose to use both surnames in hyphenated or "double barreled" form so Robert James and Anne Lacey will become "Mr and Mrs James-Lacey" or "Mr and Mrs Lacey-James" and their children will have the double name. This used to be something that only upper class people did but it's much more common these days, same-sex couples very often do this.

The main thing to take away from this is that in most Western cultures there isn't such a thing as a "real" surname that is fixed for life and cannot be changed. There are various degrees to which a surname is official but they are all related to what people choose to call themselves. The surname on your passport, driving licence, qualification certificates or entry on the register of voters is more "official" than others but, apart from the qualification certificates, it can be changed. If your entitlement to a qualification, inheritance or tax rebate was to be challenged then you might have to show a paper trail detailing the changes but that's about it.