How can I find out who I'm married to?
Solution 1:
You mentioned "wife" in the question, so I'm going to skip the actor IDs of all the marriageable males.
- Save your game (just in case one of these teleports breaks a quest)
- Open the console
- Try the following commands until you either A, wind up in a house owned by you, or B, find someone out in the world who insists on appending "my love" to every sentence.
Commands:
moveto 0001A69A
moveto 0001B13C
moveto 00091918
moveto 00065AB3
moveto 000198AC
moveto 000C3A46
moveto 0001B141
moveto 000263CD
moveto 0001A6D8
moveto 00019901
moveto 0001A6DA
moveto 000198F8
moveto 00019DF7
moveto 000A2C94
moveto 000A2C95
moveto 000E1BA9
moveto 000A2C93
moveto 0004E0B3
moveto 0001C1FC
moveto 00019906
moveto 0001B08B
moveto 00013488
moveto 0001C1A4
moveto 0005B688
moveto 00019E11
moveto 00019902
moveto 00019902
moveto 0001A697
This should (eventually) teleport you to every marriageable female in the game.
Solution 2:
When you got married, you had the the choice of them moving in with you, or (if they had a house) moving in with them. If they moved in with you, they should be at your house. Though, honestly, people have been losing their spouses a lot in this game, so you might have to check back multiple times. Spouses can also occasionally be found outside the Temple of Mara.
I don't think there's any definite way find out though.
A list of potential spouses and their properties (if you're that dedicated, just go check every person on the list, haha):
http://www.uesp.net/wiki/Skyrim:Marriage#Female_NPCs