Is there a word for the uncomfortable feeling of enjoying good things that come out of horrible situations? [duplicate]

My dad died, and I loved him very much but he restricted parts of my life that are no longer restricted. Is there a word for the uncomfortable and sometimes disturbing feeling of enjoying that?

Solution 1:

I wonder if the the adjective bittersweet covers the OP's situation.

Bittersweet: "Arousing pleasure tinged with sadness or pain". (Oxford Dictionary)

Solution 2:

Condolences on your loss.

The phenomenon you're experiencing is called cognitive dissonance.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance

It is the mental stress and discomfort caused by having two or more contradictory feelings at once.

Solution 3:

Guilty pleasure

according to Merriam-Webster: "something pleasurable that induces a usually minor feeling of guilt"

Solution 4:

If you're really feeling discomfort from the antithetical feedback you're getting from wanting to be a good daughter and a free and independent person, it's really cognitive dissonance as @EricLippert said. Still, the more common expression for the more common experience of simply feeling conflicting emotions is

mixed feelings

It's such a common expression and experience that you may feel it doesn't do your situation justice, but it's still there. In any case, keep on keeping on as best you can, since regardless of the details your father doubtless wanted you to have a comfortable and happy life and to remember him as fondly as he deserved.