Is "chubby" offensive?
I said to a person that she is "chubby" and, apparently, she took it very seriously. What I meant to say is that she's not skin and bones, she carried more pounds than needed but, precisely because of that, she should be actually more attractive.
In Italian I would say that she is "in carne" but I don't know its English equivalent. Is there a word for it in English?
Anything can be offensive, or not. Offense is in the mind of the subject, and may take intent of the speaker into account.
In my particular culture (Western Canadian Anglophone Caucasian, which overlaps with lots of other cultures, especially throughout North America), at this particular time (2010's, but extending back for quite a few years), I would expect a significant number of women to take offense to being called "chubby", even if it was not intended to offend, and especially if they did not have a very familiar relationship with the speaker.
For what it's worth, most adjectives implying overweight would also be considered offensive to varying degrees. Being overweight is one of the most sensitive personal issues (especially for women) in my current culture & time. In fact "overweight" is probably one of the terms least taken in offense -- which is why I'm using it.
The term "chubby" would generally be only used to refer to babies or small children and even then some parents may take offense.
Some positive terms used to describe a pleasantly plump woman (in order of safety: safest to use first):
- Curvaceous: (esp. of a woman or a woman's figure) Having an attractively curved shape.
- Rubenesque: plump and sensuous (referring to the figure of a woman), from the women depicted in the paintings of Peter Paul Rubens (1577 - 1640)
- Voluptuous: (of a woman) Curvaceous and sexually attractive.
- Buxom: (of a woman) Plump, esp. with large breasts; healthily plump and vigorous) "a generation ago...buxom actresses were popular"- Robt.A.Hamilton. (Be very careful using this one as it really does relate more to a woman's breasts than anything else.)
As you can see from the definitions, if you want to make a positive statement about a woman's plumpness then you are also making a statement about their sexual desirability in your eyes.
I am from New Zealand and most woman who are on the plump side would probably appreciate one of these terms being used in connection with them. Most would not appreciate being called "overweight": in some cultures here curvaceous is considered just the right weight. In fact, I'd say that "curvaceous" would be the safest term. I'm not sure this is also the case in the USA.
A note on bodacious: I don't think it refers to a woman's curvaceousness, but just her attractiveness. Definitely nice to be described as bodacious though.
Yeah, chubby isn't very tactful. It isn't offensive in the sense that cursing or swearing is considered offensive but it certainly isn't going to do much for her self-esteem.
Honestly, I don't know of any way to refer to not-skinny that isn't going to be at least awkward. My opinion is to refer to her as not being too-skinny:
I like that you aren't skin and bones
Some girls are far too skinny
Then again, this isn't really my area. I just avoid the topic if at all possible. In America, at least, the whole subject is typically considered a taboo.
Chubby is in most cases going to be taken offensively in North America. It would be associated with being overweight when applied to an adult. Possible alternatives that sound more flattering could include "well proportioned", "curvy", "shapely", (more colloquially) "carrying it in all the right places", and possibly some others.
Source: Personal experience courting women :P