Using the present tense in recounting past events

Solution 1:

This is the historic present, sometimes called the narrative present.
To use it correctly, you first have to establish the time frame of the events, because it can be used this way in past, present or future - but in the two latter cases it's used in a different way.
Interestingly, some languages actually have a separate tense form for this, so in Swahili to you might say "Nilifika, nikakaa chini, nikakunywa chai, nikazugumza kidogo ..." = "I arrived, I sit down, I drink tea, I converse a little...". Here "li" marks the ordinary past tense, and thereafter "ka" is in the narrative tense.
In Swahili and similar languages, this is a rhetorical device, telling listeners there's more to come, and they don't interrupt until the speaker shows he's made his point.
In English the narrative present gives a sense of immediacy, inviting you to imagine the scene.
While he goes... and I'm like... are widespread, they tend to grate a little: doesn't the speaker know any synonyms for these words? But they do tend to keep the talk lively.