Will the spouse freak out if she finds out you are a werewolf or vampire?

In general, yes, they will.

Werewolves

According to Elder Scrolls Pages article on Lycanthropy,

As a werewolf in Skyrim, you will be hated and feared by almost any NPC that sees you in your beast form, and most will attack you on sight (exceptions include other werewolves, M'aiq the Liar, members of the Dark Brotherhood, The Circle, followers currently in your service, members of the Thieves Guild, and the heroes of Sovngarde, but not your spouse, unless your spouse is one of these).

So, if your spouse is in a faction that doesn't care, then they don't care. Being a spouse doesn't affect it.

This leaves you a number of options, including Aela the Huntress, also a werewolf.

Vampires

The Elder Scrolls Pages article on Vampirism says that

Vampires are hated and feared by the general population and stage four vampires will be attacked on sight. The four major joinable factions will not be hostile toward stage four vampires so long as you join before you reach stage four and are not caught feeding on any of their members. With Dawnguard installed, NPCs will only attack you if you are in Vampire Lord form.

Whether you have Dawnguard or not has a big impact on how NPCs treat vampires. The above excerpt doesn't explicitly mention spouses, but it sounds like the same situation as with werewolves. If they're in a faction that isn't going to attack you then they won't, otherwise they will.

Note that with Dawnguard, you can actually turn your spouse into a Vampire in the quest The Gift. It says there that "Your spouse will turn hostile if you turn into a vampire lord in front of him or her". I'm not sure if that's before turning them, after, or both.