A neutral word to describe ones ability to bypass social expectations in interpersonal interactions?
My assumption is that humans rely heavily on an embedded framework of social contracts when engaging in social interactions. This is for sure both biological and cultural in origin.
I'm searching for a word that describes an ability to consciously disconnect the "cognitive auto-pilot" from this framework, to be able to act more professional and pragmatic.
John is very ____, even though he has a close personal relationship with Dave, he has no problems in keeping a strictly professional relationship with him in regards to their joint venture.
(John's personal relationship conflicts with his professional relationship with Dave, but John has the ability to disregard from selected parts of the social framework that he deem unsuitable)
Our accountant Jenny is ____ embodied; even though she was secretly in love with Dan, she had no second thoughts about reporting him to the disciplinary board for his unmotivated spending.
(Jenny's social framework has a lot to say about how she should act towards Dan since she is in love with him, but she has a high ability to disregard the influences from the social framework that conflicts with her professional role.)
The brothers Tony and José grew up together and both joined the Mafia at around the same time. They had a strong brotherly love and always stood up for each other in times of trouble. However, when Big Boss ordered Tony to put a bullet between José's eyes, it was like Tony had never known him and complied without hesitation, even if it greatly saddened him.
The only word that I can think of that relates to the ability to consciously bypass the social framework is sociopath, although this have very negative associations. For example :
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/sociopath
a person with a psychopathic personality whose behaviour is antisocial, often criminal, and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience.
Are there any neutral but precise words I can use to describe ones ability to consciously distance oneself from influences from the embedded social framework?
I'd consider terms like cold, professional, high integrity as way too general and imprecise here.
I like David's compartmentalizing—it's more general than professional and thus fits the question better in my opinion. My dictionary even seems to use it for just this purpose:
divide into sections or categories: he had the ability to compartmentalize his life
Stick the world social in front of it and you've got yourself a new term:
John is very good at social compartmentalization.
Our accountant, Jenny, has strong social compartmentalization.
They're not necessarily cold, and they're not just professional; they act appropriately no matter what role they're in at the time.
John and Jenny are simply being professional. To not report Dan would be unprofessional.
- suitable or appropriate for somebody working in a particular profession
professional conduct/misconduct
opposite: unprofessional
Or, John has the ability to compartmentalize his social and personal life.
Like @ermanen observed, your title seems to asking for something different.
A (somewhat) neutral word for someone who disregards norms is non-conformist
a person who does not follow normal ways of thinking or behaving
It may not be a perfect fit to what you're asking, but it seems close:
dispassionate
not influenced by strong feeling; especially : not affected by personal or emotional involvement
also
able to think clearly or make good decisions because not influenced by emotions
Aloof would work. From Dictionary.com:
At a distance, especially in feeling or interest; apart: They always stood aloof from their classmates.
Reserved or reticent; indifferent; disinterested: Because of his shyness, he had the reputation of being aloof.
For your second sentence, the noun form would be aloofness.
Looking at your examples, and resolutely ignoring the red herring of disregarding social norms, I would suggest "objective". This is a poor but common translation of the word that rings the bell at the top of the fairground whatsit, the German sachlich.