Are there English equivalents for “as beautiful as butt inside out”?

Solution 1:

The most obvious parallel is "butt ugly", common in the US.

But, I think that sraka as a term for the buttocks probably is related to srat', срать , some form of which means "to shit" in all Slavic languages, as far as I know. Sraka means magpie (the bird) in some Slavic languages, by the way- there are some funny misunderstandings when speakers of different Slavic languages get together!.

That would make "ugly as shit", another common idiom, a better translation, and that's how I would translate it.

Solution 2:

A common, humorous way of saying that someone has an ugly face is to say that they have a face only a mother could love.

Naturally, a mother will always find her child beautiful—the implication here is that absolutely no one else will.

It is relatively offensive, but it doesn’t sound anywhere near as offensive as the Ukrainian version, where you’re basically comparing someone’s face to a prolapsed rectum.

Solution 3:

One slang expression is : you are good from afar; far from good :

• attractive from a distance but unattractive on closer inspection.

(onlineslangdictionary.com)

also: you have a face fit for radio is another sarcastic way to express the concept of ugliness.

Solution 4:

There is the phrase "face for radio".

A person who has a face for radio is ugly enough that no television station would ever hire them, because they wouldn't want that person's face to be seen on TV. But a radio station would have no problem hiring them, because you can't see anybody on a radio.

Wiktionary also has a definition for "face for radio":

Because a radio presenter is never seen by the audience.

(colloquial, derogatory, humorous) An ugly face.