Word that describes terms that exclude or divide people

A few examples:

A creationist and an evolutionist want to save an endangered bee species. The creationist remarks about how bees were 'created' to pollinate plants. The evolutionist no longer wants to work with the creationist.
A man and woman are discussing how to promote equality between the sexes in the workplace. At some point, the woman complains about the 'manosphere'. This discourages the man from participating in the movement, he feels attacked by use of that term.
A pro-life woman and a pro-choice woman want to help out single mothers. The pro-lifer says single mothers are people that didn't 'murder' their babies. The pro-choicer sees that as an accusation, since she supports abortion as an option.

In all the examples, the word in quotes divides the people, hindering the cause. What do we call those words? In each situation, neutral language could have been used, or the word wasn't necessary to describe the cause.

If my examples are offensive to anyone, please help me improve them.

Solution 1:

Within the specific contexts of these scenarios we might describe these words as controversial. Perhaps the individual words could be described more specifically as divisive. In each case, one person used divisive language which discouraged the other person from wanting to participate. I would argue that the words could be considered divisive because they are often in complete contrast (to the point of being offensive) to the other person's view.

divisive /dɪˈvʌɪsɪv/adj. — Oxford

Tending to cause disagreement or hostility between people: 'the highly divisive issue of abortion'

Solution 2:

We've got some very good suggestions in the other answers, but I will put forth a few more that seem particularly appropriate:

polarizing

: causing (people, opinions, etc.) to separate into opposing groups

_{(source: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/polarizing)}

loaded (language)

Loaded words and phrases have strong emotional implications and involve strongly positive or negative reactions beyond their literal meaning.

_{(source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loaded_language)}

Solution 3:

Here's two adjectives that may be useful for the contexts you've included.

contentious adjective: causing or likely to cause an argument; controversial. "a contentious issue"

synonyms: controversial, disputable, debatable, disputed, open to debate, vexed "a contentious issue" see, Google.com contentious

coloured adjective: 1.1. Imbued with an emotive or exaggerated quality: “highly coloured examples were used by both sides”. Oxford Dictionaries colored/coloured

Solution 4:

Issues like abortion and evolution are often described as Divisive.

I think in the context you describe it would be acceptable to describe the language tied to those issues as divisive.

If you want to describe a situation where a minority group or an individual is being excluded, rather than one where a group is divided into factions then you might use the word exclusionary.