How do native speakers answer questions like "what's cooking"?

"What's cooking" means "what's going on?" or perhaps more specifically "what are you working on?"

According to this it dates from the 1940s. The meaning comes from asking someone what is cooking on the stove, and consequently what should I expect in the near future, however, it has generalized in common usage to a less specific meaning of "what's going on" without necessarily an expectation of a future result.

As to what to answer; mostly this is a rhetorical phrase much as "how are you" and it isn't necessarily a specific solicitation for information, it tends to be used as a general social greeting. If someone was looking for something more specific they would probably ask a more specific question such as "what are you working on", or "what new projects have you got going on."

Even though it is used for you in the context of work, it really shouldn't be considered to apply only to that. It is a social question, so probably includes you social and personal life too, unless it is more specific.

So on its own "nothing much" or something similar is perfectly acceptable. It is generally more of a conversation starter.

Hmm... This seems to be a common question, and any advice in this piece will probably be 10x better than anything I can say.

If a business colleague attempts to make small talk, do not panic. They probably are not drunk, they are probably not mentally ill, and they probably do not want to sell you something (other than some girl scout cookies), but they probably are American.

If you do not want to engage in small talk with the person, just say any of the following.

1. Not much
2. Nothing much
3. Nothing
4. Oh, {pause 1/2 second} nothing
   Don't pause longer than a half second, because the longer you pause the more likely you will get a response. Unless you pause for more than 20 seconds, as that would probably discourage further small talk
5. I don't know (35-second video)
6. Um, I was just thinking about how much the Boston Bruins suck. (I am being sarcastic here, and it is not intended as sincere response. This answer will not make you many friends, and you might get anything from an FU to a hot coffee in your face).

To further indicate that you do not wish to talk,
do
a) look down or away from the person asking you the question;
b) shake your head side-to-side ('no') as you respond;
do not
a) add a tag question, 'and you?' or 'how about you?' because you greatly increase the likelihood of getting a response, and then you are back to square one;
b) smile, as that is an invitation to talk more; but you need not scowl or frown, either; in addition, a smile can be misinterpreted by someone who is interested in you sexually or romantically (a clue to this is if they say the variant phrase 'What's cooking, good looking?').

If you are interested in engaging in small talk, you can answer

"bacon", and wait for a response.

{Note: this is an actual response that Americans sometimes give. It is a literal response to the question 'What's cooking?. As such, it can show a sense of humor.}

If that doesn't work,

An article from the Helsinki Times says you can mention 'weather,
children,
spouses,
sports or
politically neutral current events.'

Caution: referring to someone's skin color at an American workplace can get you in big trouble (suspension to termination), so don't do that. Additionally, most Americans I know would not talk about family members unless they know the person much better.

Bragging about Tuukka Rask is absolutely acceptable. Or if you feel uncomfortable bragging, you could mention his statistics, or something about his hometown, or the design on his helmet, and work oneself up to the latest great save he made. If the person you are talking to likes hockey, don't forget to mention Teemu Selänne or last year's Winter Olympics.

I would not talk about sauna as that could make the wrong impression, although mentioning that a Russian guy died a couple years ago trying to outlast a Finn in a sauna would probably get a response.

You could mention any of the following Finnish pastimes and probably get a response:

Air Guitar championships
World Cell Phone Throwing Championships
Swamp Soccer
Mosquito Swatting Championships
Reindeer Tipping Championships (okay, I made that one up)

This video may or may not help.

If you find that you don't mind conversing with the person, remember that in America:
a) interrupting someone to ask a question is perfectly fine.
b) prefacing your statements with
'Let me tell you about...'
'I want to ask you something...'
'I want to tell you...'
'I want you to know that...' is fine and normal. However, Americans don't want you to say anything that is actually important or true, especially about the person you are talking with.
c) staring intensely at us the whole time we are talking might make us feel uneasy, even when you think it is a sign of respect. So look away every once in awhile.
d) you do not have to have perfect grammar.
e) there's always room for another day.

If you actually want to flirt, you can answer:

'me'

{Again, a more or less literal response to the question; I am mainly pointing it out because it is an actual response to the question by a native speaker.}

Above all, feel free to be yourself, if it applies. Just remember that not all Americans are jabber monkeys.

Last, a professor from the great state of Massachusetts (in which I lived three years) finds cultural exchange with his Finnish colleagues both fascinating and frustrating.