Solution 1:

First, you might also want to take a look at this answer to a similar question.

Okay: the first description assumes that there is some sort of notion of "accumulation point" at work in the set $X$, as you surmise; this may be derived from a topology.

The second description talks about limit points, but you can apply it to any set by endowing the set with the discrete topology (every subset is open, every subset is closed). If you do that, then the definition is the usual definition of limit superior of a sequence of sets: it is the collection of all points that are in infinitely many of the terms of the sequence, while the limit inferior is the collection of all points that are in all sufficiently large terms of the sequence.

The "second way" of defining it is in terms of unions and intersection. If $\{X_n\}_{n\in\mathbb{N}}$ is a family of sets, then \begin{align*} \limsup_{n\in\mathbb{N}} X_n &= \bigcap_{n=1}^{\infty}\left(\bigcup_{j=n}^{\infty} X_j\right)\\\ \liminf_{n\in\mathbb{N}} X_n &= \bigcup_{n=1}^{\infty}\left(\bigcap_{j=n}^{\infty} X_j\right). \end{align*} This coincides with the notion of the limit superior being the set of all limit points of infinitely many terms in the sequence, under the discrete topology; and the limit inferior being the set of all limit points of all sufficiently large-indexed terms of the sequence (again, under the discrete topology).

The notion of "accumulation point" in the first description is more informal. If you are working with a topological space, then it is limit points as described above and by "accumulation set" you should read "set of all limit points".

For your third point, in order to be able to talk about joins and meets you need to have some sort of complete lattice order on your set, so that you can talk about those infinite meets and infinite joins; this is the case, for instance, in the real numbers; appropriately interpreted, you do get essentially the definition you propose, though you need to tweak it a bit in order to actually get what the actual definition is (see the other answer quoted above); you don't actually work with the points themselves, but with a slightly different set determined by the points.

I think that the previous answer linked to answers essentially your fourth point, of how to interpret limit superior and limit inferior of a sequence of points as a special case of limit superior and limit inferior of sets; but if this is not the case, point it out and I'll try to answer it de nuovo.

Solution 2:

I always found the following definitions of superior limits and inferior limits intuitive: Let $\{E_n \}$ be a sequence of sets ($n = 1,2, \dots$). The superior limit of $\{E_n \}$ is the set consisting of those points which belong to infinitely many $E_n$. The inferior limit is the set of all those points that belong to all but a finite number of the $E_n$.