Can I "wear an umbrella"?

Does it make sense to say the following?

Yesterday I wore an umbrella and a coat.


Yes. You can wear an umbrella. You can even give a seductive demonic grin when doing so.

Hot umbrella

I see no reason she could not also be wearing a coat, other than perhaps selling fewer umbrellas for others to wear.

Silly me, someone requested a picture of how you carry an umbrella. I carry mine like this (also with a coat to further illustrate the scenario),

How to carry an umbrella like a boss.


It doesn't make sense in English. You wear a coat and carry an umbrella.