What control / access does the exchange team have over my iphone when using the exchange connector?

Solution 1:

From a quick glance at http://www.apple.com/iphone/business/integration/ -- Exchange can set password policies, network access (including VPN), restrictions on use of YouTube and iTunes, prohibit app installs and use of the camera.

More information at: http://manuals.info.apple.com/en_US/Enterprise_Deployment_Guide.pdf

I don't see anything about viewing web history, etc. -- but if you are on a company WiFi they could theoretically see what websites you are viewing.

Solution 2:

They can reset your iPhone remotely. That's for certain. I had to go through that process when I left my old employer and had my personal iPhone connected to work via the Exchange Connector. You'll be able to restore it from a recent backup.