How to properly punctuate the use of multiple names at the start of a sentence of dialogue

I am proofreading someone's work of fiction, and I'm trying to determine the best way to punctuate a sentence like the following. I typically follow the Chicago Style Guide, but I couldn't find this specific situation addressed.

The general faced the two men.

"Mr. Smith, Mr. Jones, what are you men doing here?"

When addressing multiple people at the start of a sentence, are the commas I used correct? I briefly considered ellipses, but that doesn't seem correct grammatically.

Solution 1:

Your version is correct. It's the same as if you said, "Dave, Brian, what are you men doing here?" The titles ("Mr.") don't change this. Especially since your priority is verisimilitude in dialogue, given that you're editing fiction, it makes sense to use this simple, intuitive structure. "Messrs. Smith and Jones, what are you/the two of you doing here?" is also grammatically correct, but it's not realistic dialogue.