Widower: sexist nonusage?

Solution 1:

The phrase has seen usage in a wide range of publications, so the advice seems unwarranted.

Marianna's early death left Maria Teresa with a sentimental devotion to her widower. (Marie Antoinette :the journey; Fraser, Antonia; New York : N.A. Talese/Doubleday 2001)

Now, her widower and her mother are engaged in a very regrettable, seemingly intractable battle over who has the right to tell her life story. (Jezebel; Mother and Widower of Assisted Suicide Advocate Brittany Maynard ...: 2016)

Many historians have thought that her widower's promptness in putting himself back into matrimonial circulation, very soon after Elizabeth 118 Henry VII died, showed he cared nothing about her. (The Kings and Queens of England; Jane Murray; Charles Scribner's Sons, New York, 1974)

It was not much more than six months after Mary Godwin's death when we find her widower in pursuit of Miss Harriet Lee, one of the authors of the " Canterbury Tales, " a collection which had its day when our grandmothers ransacked the circulating libraries, but which is probably now only remembered because one of them suggested the plot of the tragedy of Werner to Lord Byron. (Paul's William Godwin; North American Review: July 1876: 221-233)

The concern of the people of Glasgow has been occasioned by the fact that the procurator fiscal has chosen at this stage not to prefer charges or identify someone as responsible for the death of Helen Tinney: Her family--; specifically her widower, Mr: Eddie Tinney, her daughters Maureen and Elaine Tinney, and her son John--; and many other people are very concerned about this matter (House of Commons British Parliament; Mr Mike Watson; 1994)

Although I think we should not spend too much time on this, the Government have indicated what it will cost: Clause 2 gives the annual payment under Clause 1, which will be £ 1,000 to a former Member, £ 500 to his widow or her widower (House of Lords British Parliament; Mr Thomas Peart; 1981)

Two suspects were named in Jensen's murder. Her widower Christian seemed glad of this, but noted that in Germany, normally, " when two cars bump, you have to get out. " (Time Magazine; Fighting Fear in Florida; 1993)

...under 42 U.S.C. 402 (f) (1) (D) such benefits on the basis of the earnings of a deceased wife covered by the Act are payable to her widower only if he was receiving at least half of his support from her. (US Supreme Court 430 U.S. 199; CALIFANO v. GOLDFARB; 1977)

Where an author is dead, his or her termination interest is owned, and may be exercised, by his widow or her widower and his or her children or grandchildren (US Supreme Court 469 U.S. 153; MILLS MUSIC, INC. v. SNYDER; 1985)

Thirty-seven years after actress Natalie Wood mysteriously drowned, Los Angeles Sheriff investigators are calling her widower a " person of interest " in the case, according to a new report. (Fortune; Report: Robert Wagner Named 'Person of Interest' in Natalie Wood's ...; 2018)

Mrs. Levin's death will be recorded as natural. Which means her widower has no claim against McCafferty or the hospital and no way to know what really happened to his wife. (TV SERIES Crossing Jordan; The Gift of Life; 2002)

Solution 2:

You can refer to him as "her surviving husband" or "her surviving spouse".