How should I analyze this sentence?

Solution 1:

There's no relative construction here. For all allows the clause that follows, which contains a coordination:

we

try to show our kids [how we believe people should act, how we hope they will act]

tell them [how we believe people should act, how we hope they will act]

For all here serves a similar function to although, the whole phrase being a concessive adjunct. It also carries a meaning similar to an adjunct of degree/frequency as in very much/often. We could paraphrase it as:

Although we frequently/very much try to...

Similar examples:

For all he found Anne-Sylvie frustrating, he also found her attractive and that bothered him. (Blind Justice, S.N. Lewitt, Ace Books 1991)

For all he was so young, he had seen something of the world, and had already made notable friends. (Colonel Washington, Woodrow Wilson, Harpers: March, 1896)

For all he cares about the money, he says, he would give it to the cop on the corner, if that would serve any purpose. (THE TERRIBLE-TEMPERED DR. BARNES; McCardle, Carl W.; Saturday Evening Post: 3/21/1942)