What's the feminine equivalent of "your obedient servant" as a letter closing? [closed]

The only word you would need to change is servant, and that doesn't really have a feminised version (unless you count servant-girl which is not in the same class, or the really archaic handmaid, which Margaret Atwood has rather hijacked). It's perfectly OK for a servant to be female.

Indeed, in this case, the formula is fixed and the word servant should not be altered*.

The real issue is whether you should be using this form of valediction in a letter at all. Churchill was writing the most formal of letters to the Emperor of Japan, descendent of gods and the leader of probably the most formalised society in the world. Churchill was not averse to grandiloquence and this form of address is entirely appropriate in those circumstances.

British society has changed, and while truly formal letters might be signed off in a similar way, it certainly wouldn't do where the rank of writer and recipient is more equal. America is even more egalitarian. Even as a shopkeeper you are generally at the same level in the order of precedence as your customer, and wouldn't dream of signing off a letter in this manner.

Don't do it. "Yours faithfully" or "Yours sincerely" will do for letters, and "Best regards" or "Kind regards" for emails.

*Unless you're writing formally to the Sovereign and you're British, in which case the most formal words to use are "Your Majesty's loyal subject", but even the Royal Family website says "I have the honour to be, Madam, Your Majesty's humble and obedient servant". (Note: that's still servant, regardless of sex.)

The answers and the comments posted so far on this page focus on the literal meaning of the phrase your obedient servant, and conclude that it should not be used because it is highly unlikely that the writer is anything like an actual servant of the recipient of the communication (with the exception of a subject addressing the monarch). That is, however, a misunderstanding of how the phrase functioned at the times and in the social settings in which it was used. Nobody has ever thought that Churchill actually regarded himself as a servant of the Emperor of Japan; on the contrary it was understood by everybody concerned that he was writing to him from a position of equality, as he was acting on behalf of his own sovereign, who was, in the framework of international relations, an equal of the Japanese sovereign. Nor has anybody ever thought that Churchill regarded himself as obedient to the Japanese Emperor; after all he was writing to declare a war. The phrase your obedient servant and its variations, such as your humble servant, used in formal correspondence do not imply that one regards oneself as an actual servant of the person one is writing to any more than sincerely at the end of a typical present-day business letter implies that there was anything specially sincere about its contents. Any inequality that your obedient servant may imply is merely pretended inequality that is embodied in many other manifestations of politeness. The use of the phrase is thus quite compatible with the people involved regarding themselves as actually equal. George Washington certainly did not think that using that phrase at the end of his letters implied that he was not an equal of his correspondents, nor that it implied support for a hierarchical organisation of the society.

The reason why one, generally, shouldn't use your obedient servant and similar phrases in run-of-the-mill present-day correspondence is not that there is anything inherently wrong with how they were used in the past, but simply that they have gone out of fashion. Using such a phrase in a present-day business letter would be confusing to the recipient in much the same way in which it would be confusing if one showed up for a business meeting dressed in an outfit that was standardly worn for such occasions hundred years ago. Having said that, I wouldn't entirely rule out the possibility that using them might be apt in some rare contexts. I can imagine, for example, that one may choose to use your obedient servant at the end of a letter to a history buff, who is familiar with how the phrase was used in the past, and who will recognise its use as a deliberate creative anachronism. One may, perhaps, also choose to use it when writing in English to a person from a culture in which it is customary to use similar phrases in another language.

I will disagree with those that say it should never be used, but it should not be used in this scenario or any similar set of circumstances. You are neither their servant or at their service, you are a contractor that is worthy of her hire.

First, this is an archaic phrase, to most people it is going to be annoying nonsense. So, in most cases, unless you want to make them angry, it should be avoided for that reason alone.

Secondly, even if you believe it would be understood and accepted, you wouldn’t use it unless you are indicating that the next step is up to them AND you are hoping they can come up with an new course of action.

In Churchill’s case, he’s saying they are now at war, but peace talks in the future aren’t totally ruled out.

To be frank, the whole letter

Dear Mr. Smith,

Just [...]the matter.

needs rewriting as it is digressive and too subservient. The level of subservience that the recipient expects in English-speaking countries is far, far less that you might feel comfortable with in Japan.

Business letters are usually of the form

Dear Sir/Madam/Messrs/BBC, etc,

[...]

Yours faithfully,

[your signature/name]

or where the name is given, or a known person is addressed:

Dear Mr Smith,

[...]

Yours sincerely,

[your signature/name]

There a few answers suggesting you don't do it because it's not necessary as time have changed.

I would want to add a stronger tone here. Writing such a letter to your tenant/professor/anyone else except the Queen of England could be interpreted either as an insult or in a sexual way - communicating that you're willing to offer them more than your letter.

"Humbly beg" runs a similar risk. "Master" is now associated with slave ownership. "Mistress" with the girlfriend of an already married man.

Yes, times have changed that much.

When you want to communicate compassion or care, a great way to do that is to ask about the other party's situation/ family/ health. But be mindful that even this could be misinterpreted. In the UK, it is acceptable to say "I hope my email finds you well" or "How has your family been through this time?".

In (some parts of the) US, even such an intro would raise eyebrows. If they are stressed by the pandemic and/or overworked, why would this lady waste their time with unnecessary words?

And for a bit of background. The Western culture praises both equalitarianism and efficiency. Following them isn't rude - it's the way to be polite! A short, to-the-point email is all you need to do:

Dear Mr Marcos, (note the subtle nod to politeness - using Mr and family name)

I am unable to start working on the translation until I receive the agreed-upon advance payment.

I will need Z days to complete it so in order to have it ready by the Jan 25th deadline I will need payment confirmation by Dec 28th.

Please let me know if anything has changed on your side.

Best Regards,
Name