Got a virus on Windows and Ubuntu [closed]

TLTR: I've encountered a virus what affects both Windows 8.1 and Ubuntu 14.04. This virus was proven to be impossible to be detected/removed by 50+ most popular antivirus programs/rootkits. What to do? Any alternatives to a complete hd wipe?

Here's the deal: I've been having issues with a really strange virus on Windows 8.1 for several months now.

About the virus:

It plays a loop of a muffled voice through headphone/speakers at random times
I didn't hear this muffled voice for weeks at a time, but then it comes back
Disconnecting from the Internet and muting the sound does nothing to stop it
As far as I can tell, this virus does nothing but annoy, since my system runs as it should

What did NOT help to get rid of the virus:

I run 50+ (yes, really) different anti-virus/malware/spybots/scanners/rootkits on Windows 8.1 -- both in safe mode and otherwise, was a total waste of time
I run clamav/tk in Ubuntu 14.04, again this virus is undetectable by the large majority of anti-virus/rookits/etc
The refresh Windows 8 function: this doesn't delete the sys32 folders, but removes all programs
The factory reset from Windows recovery partition: did this 2 times... makes be believe that the recovery partition is also infected
Installing Ubuntu 14.04 on a different partition: the virus appears to have transferred and now I hear the muffled voice in Ubuntu as well

Any suggestions what to do here? I don't have a Windows 8 installation CD, but I'm close to wiping and reformatting the entire hd and installing Ubuntu again. Sadly, I still need Windows and might thus need to pay up for a fresh Windows 8 CD (despite having Windows 8 on this pc, and Windows 7 on another pc!).

Solution 1:

This is not a virus. Anyone who'd written a virus sophisticated enough to have the effects you describe (more than one operating system, undetected by any antivirus, no performance etc. effects on the infected machine) would not be using it to play muffled voices through your speakers. They'd be using it to steal information, probably from governments and large corporations. Using it for anything trivial like playing voices through your speakers would risk the virus being detected and compromised, which would waste the significant effort that would have to have been put into writing it. Unless maybe you're the head of your country's intelligence agency and the CIA is trying to make you go a little bit crazy? ;-)

Radio stations often loop a short message or piece of music when they're not broadcasting actual content. Since you only hear the voice intermittently and it's not in your country's language, I would suggest that it's a distant radio station that the electronics in your computer are only picking up when atmospheric conditions are just right.

Solution 2:

Try running a linux live cd with the hdd/ssd detached. Maybe (as mentioned above) it's not a virus but a interference from another source.

Solution 3:

I've been having issues with a really strange virus on Windows 8.1 for several months now.

Why on earth would you keep using a system you suspect of being compromised? Antiviruses are supposed to detect. They are relatively poor at cleaning. If you think you've caught something bad and can't verify its complete removal, you backup your data and reinstall everything from known-clean media.

Restoring from an on-HD Windows recovery partition is convenient but your computer (and any malware) can probably also write to that partition. Treat it as hostile.

It seems most likely that this is a hardware interference issue and nothing to do with software. As other people have suggested, I would strongly recommend running Ubuntu from a Live CD for a while. Use it how you would have used your Ubuntu but try to avoid using files from your regular install. This will help rule out hardware issues.

Solution 4:

Some cheap speakers lack appropriate shielding and therefore act as a bad radio receiver. That seems much more likely than the same software issue affecting two separate operating systems.