Selecting Verbs: Want vs. Demand [closed]
I have two sentences that differ only by one word.
The sound of it drones. It’s like a stuck record. The ear demands some variety.
The sound of it drones. It's like a stuck record. The ear wants some variety
The first sentence sounds much more vivid to me. I can imagine a person demanding something. I see a man grabbing another by the collar, pinning him against the wall, and demanding money.
I can't see someone wanting something in that same way. It's just not as visual of a verb.
I'm trying to pull some sort of rule out of this example that will help me improve my writing, but i can't figure out what the rule would be.
Both of these are verbs, and both of them are action verbs. So if I were trying to explain it to someone, how would I phrase a principle that would help them pick a more vivid verb when writing a sentence?
Thanks!
When you use metonymy (the “ear” representing the listener), you soften the reference slightly. To make a strong statement, you have to use a stronger verb.
The hungry people called for food, the empty bellies cried for nourishment.
It’s hard to give good examples, because using the whole expression (people) close to the part expression (belly) makes the example look like repetition for emphasis.
In English, the softer word is often a statement of volition. This sounds natural with a human or animal subject, but when a body part is used to stand in its place, volition does not seem as natural.
There is a well-known quote from Meister Eckhart: Only the hand that erases can write the true thing. If you google this, however, you will find it often explained in terms of the writer being willing to modify their text. The hand, being inanimate, must erase. The human actor is assumed to be capable of nuance and judgement.