Word for "not wanting to do something because you have been told to do it"?

What’s the psychological effect of when someone tells you to do something, and even if you were already planning on doing it and getting ready to, the second they tell you to, you just despise the idea of doing it.

What is that called?

Solution 1:

It's called being contrary:

From Merriam-Webster:

4 : temperamentally unwilling to accept control or advice

From Oxford Dictionaries:

2 Perversely inclined to disagree or to do the opposite of what is expected or desired.
// ‘she is sulky and contrary where her work is concerned’

It's a personality trait that I actually share. (Although in a more specific way than these definitions.) If I'm told to do something by somebody in an authoritarian manner, and there is no rationale for the action, I will very often do the opposite just to make a point—even if the thing is something I would have been inclined to do on my own if I hadn't felt arbitrarily "forced" into it.

Solution 2:

Recalcitrance

: the state of being recalcitrant

"Recalcitrant." Merriam-Webster.com. Merriam-Webster, n.d. Web. 25 Oct. 2018.

and recalcitrant is - adjective -

1: obstinately defiant of authority or restraint

2a : difficult to manage or operate

"Recalcitrance." Merriam-Webster.com. Merriam-Webster, n.d. Web. 25 Oct. 2018.

An example of recent usage is the title of the following book -

Global America: Imposing Liberalism on a Recalcitrant World

Here is a formal document that uses recalcitrance in this way.

1. A recalcitrant emotion is an emotion that is in tension with the subject’s settled judgment. For example, I may judge that her remark was entirely justified, under the circumstances, but feel angry about it nevertheless. Or that flying presents no special danger, yet feel afraid every time I fly. Fear of flying is an example of ‘stable’ recalcitrance, i.e. rather than being a single episode of a recalcitrant emotion, it is a disposition to episodes of recalcitrant emotion. In a recent paper, Justin D’Arms and Daniel Jacobson (2003) argue that the existence of recalcitrant emotions presents the basis for an objection to those theories of emotion that claim judgments – or similar cognitions, such as thoughts or construals – are necessary components of emotion.

On explaining recalcitrant emotions
Michael Lacewing
Heythrop College, London
[email protected]

http://www.philosophy-psychoanalysis.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/Lacewing-On-explaining-recalcitrant-emotions.pdf

Solution 3:

I think you may be talking about (psychological) reactance. From Wikipedia:

Reactance is an unpleasant motivational arousal (reaction) to offers, persons, rules, or regulations that threaten or eliminate specific behavioral freedoms. Reactance occurs when a person feels that someone or something is taking away their choices or limiting the range of alternatives.

In your example, you originally chose to do something, but when your sense of having that choice is threatened by being ordered to do it you stop wanting to do it. This is a pretty common experience, and is part of the reason why so-called "reverse psychology" sometimes works. However, the specifics of whether and how people experience reactance vary based on a bunch of factors, and aren't yet fully understood. Further reading at Steindl, Christina et al. “Understanding Psychological Reactance: New Developments and Findings” Zeitschrift fur Psychologie vol. 223,4 (2015): 205-214.

If you are wondering about something less universal/more severe and are more focused on behavior rather than the feeling that leads to the behavior, there is also a psychological condition called oppositional defiance disorder whose symptoms include (among others)

Argumentative and defiant behavior:

• Often argues with adults or people in authority
• Often actively defies or refuses to comply with adults' requests or rules
  . . .

_{—Mayo Clinic, "Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD), Patient Care and Health Information, quoting the Diagnostic & Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) of the American Psychiatric Association}

If you aren't talking about behavior that rises to the clinical level but want to talk about the behavior rather than the subjective experience, you could use one of the component terms. Cambridge Dictionaries offers these definitions:

oppositional

refusing to obey instructions or to do what people want you to do:
These children are not just being oppositional for no reason.

defiant

​ proudly refusing to obey authority:
a defiant attitude/gesture
The protesters blocking the entrance to the offices remained defiant this morning.