A verb for when we actively extract information from others?

Sometimes, others just inform us about things without us asking them, other times they do not do that even if we ask them. I want a verb for when others do not give us information — whether because they do not like to or they just don't give it, but we cannot directly ask them to — but we actively extract the information from them sometimes without them being aware of it.

So the word I am looking for shouldn't be only for cases where we coerce or force others to give us information, and it shouldn't be only for cases where others do not like to give us information.

Example:

I needed that information. But I couldn't ask her for it, or most probably she would not give to me even if I asked her. So, I .... the information I wanted.

It could be a phrasal verb and so not just a single word, but I couldn't devise a blank suitable for all possibilities!

Two verbs I've already had but I think are not suitable:

to give someone the third degree Source

To prize something from/out of somebody Source

Solution 1:

One term I know of for this is winkle (out). From MacMillan Dictionary:

winkle out _{^{[TRANSITIVE]
BRITISH INFORMAL}}
1 to get something such as information from someone when they did not intend to give it to you

As an American, it does sound rather British to me, but it does seem a useful term. As far as I can tell, it doesn't have a strong implication of exactly what methods were used to elicit the information; that is, it might be through persistent questioning, or it might be through shrewd observation and deduction. A couple of examples:

'But I winkled it out of the neighbours, piece by piece. I put all the bits together and bingo.'
(Susanna Jones, The Missing Person's Guide to Love, 2008. Snippet view.)

Cara had refrained from explaining the whole sordid mess in her letter to Marten, saying only that I'd lost all my earnings thanks to a business partner's betrayal. Still, I wouldn't put it past Marten to have somehow winkled out every last detail. If he didn't already know, he would soon.
(Courtney Schafer, The Tainted City, 2012)

It also doesn't necessarily imply why the information isn't immediately forthcoming—it could be that the person with the information is actively resistant to sharing, or it could just be an entirely neutral situation, as when scientists winkle out information about the human genome or editors winkle out subtle nuances of meaning between similar phrases.

So in your example, you could say

I needed that information. But I couldn't ask her for it, or most probably she would not give to me even if I asked her. So, I winkled out the information I wanted.

You could add a sentence or clause explaining exactly how you did this (e.g. by observing what she didn't say or by asking about something else so that she inadvertently revealed the info you really wanted). If you somehow got the information from her directly, you could also slightly rephrase to

. . . So I winkled it [the information] out of her.

Solution 2:

You're looking for elicit:

Elicit: transitive verb : to draw forth or bring out (something latent or potential)

Example: While he remained cagey during our interview, I was able to elicit the details I needed for my story.

Source: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/elicit

Solution 3:

It seems the question here is for a term to describe a gentle process of drawing information out of a reluctant party. Possibly the subject being aware that the interrogation is taking place.

I'd use something like:

She was reluctant to tell me the whole story, so I coaxed the details out of her.

This is connotations of gently drawing a reluctant or frightened animal.

or

I teased the information out of her without alerting her to my interest in the matter.

This has connotations of gently drawing forth. Usually a delicate object that could be broken if it's pulled to suddenly or firmly.