When using a verb that has a noun form with a gerund, do you use the gerund or the noun?

I'll go ahead and solidify all the constructive comments into an answer. Both of the example sentences are grammatically correct. However, your implied "generally" question assumes that non-parallel sentence structure is somehow grammatically incorrect (both versions are correct!). Here, forming sentences with non-parallel structure is simply a matter of style -- not grammar. Yet on the other hand, intent and interpretation trump grammar.

From your word choice and overall sentence structure, the sentence seems to be an excerpt of some kind of written prose (practically no one under the age of 65 uses the word "melancholy" in conversational speech Did you mean Steve?).

If interpreting this excerpt in isolation, then I am in agreement with @BillJ -- this particular usage is ambiguous. But if this excerpt is indeed written prose, which is to be taken with additional context, then its usage (and ultimately, effect of interpretation) is up to the author.

I will say that my preference is for the second iteration (passing/arrival), but simply because I can derive a more concrete meaning out of it (in isolation, of course).