Changed phone number to new contact but messages still shows old contact

Months later, with no better answers in sight, I decided to try deleting my own contact card (where "Daughter"'s number had been used as mine at one point but had since been removed). I'd been trying to be more surgical about the problem and wanted to avoid this big hammer. It solved the problem.

The detailed steps I took are below. Some of the steps are probably unnecessary but I really didn't want to take a chance. And you could probably do it fine without needing MacOS Contacts connected through iCloud but I found it made it easier to reimport and know I got exactly my contact info back the way it was (and I don't know how I would have done that just within iOS).

1. Started with iMessage off on the phone but iCloud active for Contacts on both phone and MacOS
2. In linked Contacts on MacOS, exported my own card - the one with the problem - to the Desktop as a vcf file
3. On the phone, deleted my own contact; verified it went away from my MacOS contacts through iCloud sync
4. On the phone sent message to Daughter; confirmed it stayed saying "Daughter"
5. On MacOS, imported my vcf file into Contacts; confirmed the card reappeared on the phone through iCloud sync
6. On the phone sent message to Daughter; confirmed it stayed saying "Daughter"
7. On MacOS, used the Card -> Make This My Card; confirmed that the silhouette showed up on my card on the phone through iCloud sync (discovered you have to not have your own contact open on the phone for this to sync)
8. On the phone sent message to Daughter; confirmed it stayed saying "Daughter"
9. Turned on iMessage on the phone and accepted connection on MacOS for the phone number
10. On the phone sent message to Daughter; confirmed it stayed saying "Daughter"