Can I send CTRL-BREAK and/or CTRL-C to a running process in Windows?
You can send a control-break with this little utility.
http://www.latenighthacking.com/projects/2003/sendsignal/
note Make sure to use start if you are running it from a batch file.
I don't know if a break event is considered a graceful close for an application.
That said, search for the ps utilities under sysinternals, free from Microsoft. There is a pskill command that can be used to kill applications and I believe a pslist to get process ID's. Parse it out and send a kill signal to it, see if that works for you.