How to refer to males and females in a trans-positive world? [closed]

I have a presentation coming up with a big client. One of the executives I'm presenting to is a transgender person. For context, I'm in sales and marketing - I make TV commercials.

In the meeting I need to talk about a script involving male and female actors. I have to explain why we'll use a male actor for 'part 2', and a female actor for part 1.

I'm nervous about using the word "gender" or "male" or "female" or any other word like that. I know that using gendered words can be offensive these days, especially to trans individuals, but I don't know which words exactly are offensive. Internet search only brings up results for how to refer to transgendered persons specifically, not how to refer to non-transgender people. I can't figure out for the life of me how to discuss this subject without breaking the rules.

Hope somebody out there can help. Which words should I avoid, and what words can I use without being insensitive?

Solution 1:

Political correctness with regards to gender identity is a relatively new thing for many people (and seems to have come from nothing to widespread a lot quicker than it did with, say, sexuality). This can make it seem like a bit of a minefield, not wanting to step somewhere that might cause offence by saying something that until recently would have seemed perfectly normal. However, while this more trans-accepting type of language may seem daunting, it isn't that complicated.

Firstly, let's start nice and easy, words like tranny and ladyboy are out. But that's probably no surprise.

Secondly, the biggest most significant change that (while has existed for a long time in the language) is relatively new in common parlance, is the meaning distinction between "gender" and "sex". Simply put, gender is the outward way someone identifies and sex is biological; the stuff between the legs. All you have to remember is to refer to someone according to their gender not their sex. So if you are in a meeting with someone who is born of the male sex, but outwardly identifies as female, you call them "woman", "her" and "she". And Jenny, not Steve.

Other than that, you're good. By saying you want a male actor to play a man, because the character is a man, you're not likely to offend anyone. I can't see how anything other than regular language could be cause for offense here.

[There's some other stuff about non gender binary people and using "they" for people in-between or outside the gender binary, but this is not really relevant to you, and is much more fraught with tumblr taking things too far (although non-binary neither male nor female people obviously exist, dealing with that in language is still a little unresolved.)]