Is there a single word that means expressing insincere kindness in order to draw attention to oneself?
Solution 1:
I would say this woman is "grandstanding"
Which is described by the MW as the following:
3grandstand : to behave or speak in a way that is intended to impress people and to get public approval.
I would add a qualifier like "subtle grandstanding" or "grandstanding veiled as consolation".
Solution 2:
Sycophancy comes to mind. In the self-seeking manner that is.
sycophant
a self-seeking, servile flatterer; fawning parasite.
Reference:
http://www.dictionary.com/browse/sycophant
A person who acts obsequiously towards someone important in order to gain advantage.
Reference:
http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/sycophant