What is the equivalent of Persian idiom "When the reed blooms"?

In Persian, we say "When the reed blooms" when we want to express that an event:

  1. Never happens. (This is only the opinion of the speaker so it's not a fact)
  2. It's very unlikely to happen.
  3. It's going to take so long to actually happen. (It's so long that you'd be better off giving up expecting it)

    3.1. We also use it when someone is always postponing something they have to do so you never actually see it happen.

For example:

Kyle: When are you going to pay my money back?

Cartman: When the reed blooms.

Now I don't know if I got the plant's name right because there are some other versions like:

  • Bulrush
  • Typha

In any event, they have mentioned this plant in the idiom because apparently some versions of it actually never bloom. Others believe it's because farmers harvest them before they get the chance to bloom (e.g to make music instruments), so it never happens. I'd love to know the equivalent idioms or expressions for this.

PS: I only know "When pigs fly" but I'm not a fan of it because the word pig sounds a bit rude to me and partly because it implies a strong impossibility which doesn't work for the #3 use.


You could say when the cows come home.

Also stated as until the cows come home:

The phrase is often used to describe activities regarded as futile or unproductive.

See also:

  • a cold day in hell

  • that'll be the day

  • until one is blue in the face.

Here's another source:

for a very long time

You can diet until the cows come home, and you still won't be a size 4.

We could talk about this problem until the cows come home, but it wouldn't solve anything.


When hell freezes over is one option, refering to the assumption that hell is an eternally hot and burning place.


When pigs fly is an oldie but goodie.


One suggestion for this is "Don't hold your breath". Meaning even if something may eventually happen, it is not likely to happen any time soon.