Is there a way to make my local AppCmd.exe to refer to a remote server?
You can download PSEXEC and run the following command:
psexec \\servername c:\windows\system32\inetsrv\appcmd
For example
psexec \\servername c:\windows\system32\inetsrv\appcmd list wp
I don't think you can directly use appcmd for remote management. But IIS 7 has a PowerShell provider for remote management, check this article.