Average number of tosses to WIN the gambler's ruin game.

The answer is $E_n = \frac{r+1}{r-1} (\frac{r^N+1}{r^N-1} N - \frac{r^n+1}{r^n-1} n)$ where $r = \frac{1-p}{p}$, except that $E_n = (N^2-n^2)/3$ at $r=1$.

Let:
$E_k$ be the expected length of the game starting at $k$ conditioned on winning the game
$F_K$ be the expected length of the game starting at $k$ (win or lose)
$v_k$ be the winning probability at point $k$
$w_k$ be the probability of moving up at point $k$ conditioned on winning the game

Also, note that $p = \frac{1}{r+1}$ and $\frac{r+1}{r-1}=\frac{1}{1-2p}$.

To compute $v_k$, we have $v_k = p v_{k+1} + (1-p) v_{k-1}$ with $v_0 = 0$ and $v_N = 1$.
Thus, $v_k = \frac{r^k-1}{r^N-1}$, except that at $r=1$, $v_k = k/N$.

(Note: One way of computing $v_k$ from the recurrence is that if we rescale the currency so that the difference between $k$ and $k+1$ is $r^k$, the resulting $v$ becomes linear (as a function of the rescaled currency), with $v = 0$ at 0 and $v=1$ at $1+r+...+r^{N-1} = \frac{r^N-1}{r-1}$.)

Key properties of $w_k$:
- $w_k = \frac {p v_{k+1}} {p v_{k+1} + (1-p) v_{k-1}} = \frac{r^{k+1}-1}{r^k-1} p$
- (when defined) $w_k$ is independent of $N$
- $w_k$ is identical for $p$ and $1-p$
- for large $k$ (and $p≠1/2$), $w_k≈\max(p,1-p)$.

A recurrence and some properties of $E$

We can compute E as follows:
$E_N=0$
$E_2-E_1 = -1$
$E_k = 1 + w_k E_{k+1} + (1-w_k) E_{k-1}$
After rearranging terms, we get a recursive formula for computing $E$:
$E_{k+1}-E_k = \frac{1-w_k}{w_k} (E_k-E_{k-1})-\frac{1}{w_k}$

If $p = 1/2$, then $w_k = \frac{k+1}{2k}$, and $E_n = (N^2-n^2)/3$, as noted in the link in Aaron Montgomery's comment on the question (or as computed by taking the limit $p→1/2$ of the general closed-form solution).

If $p ≠ 1/2$, we have a simple asymptotic approximation: $E_n = \frac{N-n}{|1-2p|} - O(r^{-n})$ (or $r^n$ for $r<1$).

The closed form of $E$

The recurrence for $E$ may look hopeless, but $E$ has a special symmetry: It does not change if $p$ is replaced with $1-p$ (equivalently, $r$ with $1/r$), which allows us to express $E$ in terms of $F$:
$F_n = v_n E_n + (1-v_n) E_{N-n}$
$F_{N-n} = (1-v_{N-n}) E_n + v_{N-n} E_{N-n}$

The recurrence for $F$ is
$F_k = 1 + p F_{k+1} + (1-p) F_{k-1}$ with $F(0) = F(N) = 0$.
Since the coefficients do not vary with $k$, we can solve this using standard techniques for solving recurrences (for example, see here):
$F_n = (n - v_n N) / (1-2p)$, except that $p=1/2$, $F_n = n(N-n)$.

After substituting and simplifying, we get the desired $E$.