Is there a word for fake kindness or hospitality?
Solution 1:
I would suggest: perfunctory
According to dictionary.reference.com:
per·func·to·ry adjective
performed merely as a routine duty; hasty and superficial: perfunctory courtesy.
lacking interest, care, or enthusiasm; indifferent or apathetic: In his lectures he reveals himself to be merely a perfunctory speaker.
This might not fit as a single word for:
a word for faking kindness/hospitality to sound more tactful and descent than you really are
but you could use perfunctory as an adjective and describe your situation.
I could see through his perfunctory kindness/hospitality.
After some further research, I would recommend you to take a look at this definition of perfunctory here, especially the several examples under it's usage. I found them quite interesting. For instance, these two:
Hers was no perfunctory task; a mother could not have displayed greater interest in her children- "Deaconesses in Europe" by Jane M. Bancroft
They were not perfunctory, but genuinely genuine- "Priestley in America" by Edgar F. Smith
Solution 2:
I'm not sure if there's a single word for fake-niceness as you describe it (and if someone here is able to find that single word, I'd be happy to take down my post). There are some words, however, that describe the emotions behind it:
If someone is being nice and they mean it, usually you say that their generosity or hospitality is sincere or genuine.
Conversely,
If someone is being nice, but they're faking it, usually you say that their generosity or hospitality is insincere and you can characterize them as disingenuous.
If you're trying to reply back to the person and question their duplicitous intentions, you can usually reply back to,
Pay us a visit sometime!
by saying,
Why are you feigning hospitality when you don't really mean it?
Or if you wanted to talk about this person assuming he's a man,
He sounds very hospitable every time we see him, however, his hospitality is contrived
Phew, so many English words and not a single one to condense "fake-nice"!