What's the English equivalent for the German term "Salzamt", used when it's not possible to appeal a decision, or it's simply useless to complain?

In Austria, we sometimes jokingly say:

Beschwerden ans Salzamt!

Complaints to the Bureau of Salt

meaning that it is not possible to appeal a decision, or that it is simply useless to complain about something.

Is there an English equivalent to this?

Some examples:

• Meaning which I am searching for: Someone complains about something you don't want to fix, or makes an unreasonable or impossible demand. You send them to the Bureau of Salt.
• You have released something to the public but know that it is imperfect, or you have made a decision you know that is unpopular. Yet, it is the way it is and you cannot or don't want to change it. You disclaim: Complain to the Bureau of a Salt!, or alternatively, This can be appealed at the Bureau of Salt.
• There is this entity (usually a government department) which made the decision your friend does not agree to. They keep complaining to everyone (including you). Both of you know that it is of no use. At some point, you're fed up and tell them to complain to the Bureau of Salt instead.

Solution 1:

In slightly different ways:

You can't fight City-Hall. (There is no point appealing to the official authority, because they've the power that lets them do what they want anyway).

Talk to the hand. (I am not going to listen to what you have to say).

Complaints to /dev/null. (Geek jargon-based humour: You might as well delete any complaining emails before sending them, because that's what I'm going to do when I receive them).

Solution 2:

Dear Points of View, Why, oh why, oh why, oh why ...

or

Dear BBC, Why, oh why, oh why, oh why ...

In the 1960's & 70's there was a BBC TV program called Points of View. It was designed to allow the public to express their views on the British Broadcasting Corporation's Television programmes, however it was clear that nothing that anyone complained about ever caused any change in the BBC's programming.

I still occasionally find myself muttering "Dear BBC ..." when faced with a situation where I know complaining will make no difference.

Here is a link to Wikipedia Points Of View It seems that the show is still on air some 50 years since it started and the BBC probably haven't acted on a single complaint in all those years.

I think I might send them a letter...

Solution 3:

The closest English equivalent to this expression is complaint department (occasionally complaints department), sarcastically referring to a fictional agency which responds to complaints.

For instance, you could say:

• Take it up with the complaint department.
• I'm not the complaint department.

Solution 4:

I'm not English, but I have an English-speaking wife.

If I gave something to somebody and didn't want complaints about it, I'd just say,

There you go, take it or leave it.

In my opinion, this would function the same way as your phrase.