What term refers to "one's personal definition of what is polite or rude"?
Solution 1:
I believe the word you seek is 'sensibilities.'
From TFD:
Receptiveness to impression, whether pleasant or unpleasant; acuteness of feeling. Often used in the plural: "The sufferings of the Cuban people shocked our sensibilities" (George F. Kennan).
The implication is that some other group may not have their own sensibilities shocked by the same thing. It then follows that "One's own sensibilities" would determine what an individual perceives as polite, rude, annoying, etc.
Solution 2:
"Etiquette"? "Protocol"? "Manners"? "Taste", even?