Standalone updates fail on Windows 10 1709 - "the update is not applicable to your computer"

I'm trying to install updates on a Windows 10 Pro 1709 PC using standalone updaters downloaded from the Microsoft Update Catalog.

I'm trying to install on a Windows 10 Pro 1709 system, build 16299.15.

The error message displayed by the Standalone Updater is "The update is not applicable to your computer".

I've worked through Microsoft's troubleshooting guidance, which is the basis for most of the SEO-bait articles which Google finds on this subject:

• When I started, there were no updates of any kind installed on the machine. So the updates are definitely not superseded by existing patches!
• The updates are likewise definitely not installed
• I have downloaded the correct architecture (x64)
• I have downloaded patches for the correct Windows major version (1709)
• When it comes to prerequisites, some of the failed updates are Servicing Stack updates. The MS update catalog says Servicing Stack updates don't have prerequisites. Since the other updates were failing, I tried installing the Servicing Stack updates in order anyway. More info on the results of that below.
• I have rebooted the computer many times.
• I have tried using dism.exe /restorehealth
• I have run sfc /scannow integrity check, which reported that there were no integrity problems.

I was able to successfully install the following Servicing Stack updates, which went smoothly:

• 2019-02 KB4485448
• 2019-05 KB4500641
• 2019-07 KB4509093

However, the two later Servicing Stack updates claim they are "not applicable":

• 2019-09 KB4512575
• 2019-10 KB4521860

After installing the Servicing Stack updates up to 2019-07, I thought I'd try installing the 2019-07 Cumulative Update for Windows 10 KB4507465, since that should work with the Servicing Stack from the same month. That also claims to be "not applicable".

I've also tried the 2019-10 Cumulative Update for Windows 10 KB4520006, which is "not applicable". And the 2019-10 Cumulative Update for .NET Framework 4.8 for Windows 10 1709 for x64 (KB4519564), and the 2019-06 Cumulative Update for .NET Framework 4.8 for Windows 10 Version 1709 for x64 (KB4502562), which both also claim to be "not applicable".

So the machine won't accept any of the recent updates that I've tried to install. What else can I do to diagnose the cause of the failed updates?

I'm trying to install updates on a Windows 10 Pro 1709 PC using standalone updaters downloaded from the Microsoft Update Catalog. I'm trying to install on a Windows 10 Pro 1709 system, build 16299.15

The problem you are running into is that the Windows Update catalog does not contain the required updates necessary to update your installation if you are indeed running 16299.15. Even if you are running 16299.1268, any update released after April 9th, 2019, does not apply to your installation.

So, the machine won't accept any of the recent updates that I've tried to install. What else can I do to diagnose the cause of the failed updates?

Any update released after April 9th, 2019, for Windows 10 version 1709 can only be installed on (Windows 10 Enterprise, Windows 10 Education, and IoT Enterprise) version 1709. The reason you are being told KB4520006 not applicable to your installation is due to the fact you are not running a supported edition of Windows.

The last delta update that can be installed on your system would be KB4507455. Any update after April 9th, 2019, on the Windows Update Catalog, is an express update which can only be installed on supported editions of Windows 10 version 1709.

Source: Windows 10 quality updates explained and the end of delta updates

After installing the Servicing Stack updates up to 2019-07, I thought I'd try installing the 2019-07 Cumulative Update for Windows 10 KB4507465, since that should work with the Servicing Stack from the same month. That also claims to be "not applicable."

The Servicing Stack updates only allows your installation to receive updates through Windows Update, WSUS, or System Center Configuration Manger. You were able to install KB4509093 due to the fact it was released before April 9th, 2019.

So, the machine won't accept any of the recent updates that I've tried to install. What else can I do to diagnose the cause of the failed updates?

You can upgrade your installation to Windows 10 Enterprise, of course even Windows 10 Enterprise version 1709, will stop receiving updates on April 9th, 2020. On April 10th, 2020, Microsoft will no longer release security and quality updates for Windows 10 version 1709.

You can try and install KB4507455 and then attempt to install a cumulative update released after April 9th, 2019. However, I ran into the same problem with a VM that was running Windows 10 version 1507. I was unable to even download updates for that version from the catalog, since the updates, did not even exist. Even direct links to the update themselves did not work.