How do I turn off all the password prompts?

You can modify /etc/sudoers and find the line:

%admin ALL=(ALL) ALL

change it to:

%admin ALL=(ALL) NOPASSWD: ALL

Open dash, search for passwords and keys and open it. You can remove the passwords for the keyring here (in the tab password). It -should- ask for a new password -once- after that and not ask it again.

Is there anyway to turn off all of this "security" and tell my Ubuntu that it can trust what I'm doing and go take a shower?

You can leave the new password for the keyring blank. It will complain it is unsafe to do so. Accept it and it should never bug you again. And taking a shower should not depend on Ubuntu passwords!

Go to system group and go to the users and grouping center. Then click "change password" and don't do the first question. Finally click "done". That is how I did it. ;)

In Ubuntu 14.04 you have to go to User Accounts, click unlock in top right, and then go to your account and change your password.

There is an option for login without password.