''Honey'' Usage Question

my friend (he's from Europe, white in his 20s) was in the U.S. a while ago and went to a diner a few times. A woman there (in her late 40s, most likely), kept calling him ''honey'' and ''sweetie'' every time he entered the diner. He did not know how to respond and found it polite, but kept wondering if it's not giving him some sort of emasculating treatment at the same time. To be fair, he does have a bit of feminine features, but nothing in-your-face. So, what do you think? Was it just politeness or was that also a show of dominance, some sort of weird flirt, maybe? Cheers!

Solution 1:

Note: I upvoted Ste's answer as essentially correct, but it doesn't cover the specific American aspect to this usage.

It's common to the point of cliche for waitresses in American diners in particular to call the patrons "Honey" or "Sweetie" or "Hon." If I were to take a guess, I'd say it's because diners provide a surrogate family environment, and those are endearments commonly used in American families.

Watch any American movie or tv show with a scene set in a diner, and I'm 100% sure you'll hear the word "Honey" applied to a patron.

No flirtation, show of dominance, emasculation or even special distinction should be assumed, unless that was otherwise reflected in the waitress's voice or behavior.

Solution 2:

"Honey" and "Sweetie" are simply terms of endearment, of which there are scores.

In this case, the lady in the diner was just being friendly and I doubt there was even a slight thought about his appearance before the terms were used.

Certainly in my local pub you could hear any of the following and it would be nothing more than a pleasantry.

(pet, love, flower, chick (both genders), honey, babe, darling, petal, treacle, sweetie, my dear, hon/hun, etc.)