Odd, but unoffensive slang or idioms [closed]

I'm putting a character in a book who is replacing all typical swear words, exclamations, or name calling with old fashioned or little known words. For instance, exclaiming "Snails" instead of Damn or "Confound it!" instead of something else. What are some other words that I can use? Any time period is fine.

Solution 1:

You're looking for minced oaths.

There are lists here, here, and here.

Note that "'snails" has been used in place of "by God's nails".

Solution 2:

I have heard "Crumbs" a lot - I just looked up a supposed etymology linking it to Cromwell rather than Christ :)

Another one for Christ is "Crisps!"

Searching for mild expletive I get

"Yikes!" "Shoot!" "Zounds!" "Holy cow!" "Good heavens!" "Goodness gracious!" "My word!" "Heavens to Betsy!" "Cookies!"

Solution 3:

Never being comfortable with cursing, I find I use a variety of harmless (I think) expletives in the course of a day.

In frustration: "Bullfeathers!"

With mild unbelief or incredulity: "Good night nurse!"

To register surprise: "My word!"

A non-committal yes: "Eh, what the hey!"

Haven't use this one in awhile: "Oh, fudge!"

Said with a measure of incredulity: "Well, I'll be dipped!", or "Son of a gun!"

Of late, my form of understatement, or, a left-handed compliment: "Beats a high colonic!" Or, "Beats a sharp stick in the eye!"

Couldn't care less: "I couldn't give a rip!"

Not mine, but Flo's, from the TV show Alice: "Mel, kiss my grits!"

Solution 4:

You could use Gordon Bennett. See http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/british/gordon-bennett and http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/gordon-bennett.html